The 90’s owl

When you’re out of the loop, behind the times, stuck in the past – I hate to tell you, but you’re a 90’s owl. It happens to everyone, so don’t fret. But I also suggest rapidly progressing toward this millennium. I’ll tell you how. First of all, stack any fleece items onto the nearest barge. If you don’t have time for folding, just go ahead and wad them up. Just get ’em on that dang barge. Now, don’t kick back with a Red Bull latte just yet. It’s time to crack open two geodes with a hammer, mallet, machete, egg beater, another freaking geode or whatever object will make it happen. Display these glorious earth nuggets on a surface of your choosing. Lastly, take a hairdryer to your local wax museum and aim at any figure, letting the heated exhalations slowly melt the item. I hope you’ve enjoyed your journey away from being a passé nerd of the olden days.

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