Today I’m starting a new existence. Dramatic enough for you? It’s more like a major shift in perspective. Much of my time has been used sifting for the rare gems of things, people and places. I cherish these hidden treasures and am excellent at unearthing them. But how do I make these discoveries serve me better? How do I stay inspired in the face of expansion and contraction. Or sculpt them into something grander. My skills reside in something simultaneously joyful and barely sustainable.
This seeking has been a hefty thread over the years. The thrill of finally reaching that gleaming nugget does tend to feel worth it when it occurs. I’ve tapped into something a bit uncanny because of this habit. And even the smallest tidbit can be enthralling. But is it enough? Apparently not. I don’t make much money and have yet to find a solid path. It’s tricky. Do I pursue morsels of joy and let that be the route, because it brings smiles and inspiration? Or do I try to put that aside and just concentrate on stability. Yes, probably the latter.
While I don’t expect to relinquish the search, it needs to be more like the wallpaper than the feast on the dining room table. So far, I haven’t quite concocted the feast, so I keep adding to the decor. Free sunglasses, the smell of daphne flowers, random encounters with acquaintances, funny conversations with strangers. Trying new bars and cafes, being an extra in the movie version of a favorite book. That striped tank top I bought with a GAP gift card I found on the ground that still had a balance. A fun song on the radio, a weird name called out over an airport intercom, unique snacks from a different culture. I could go on. I’ve learned to seize these moments, items, serendipities, coincidences. Stories enhance objects and infuse routines with a little spark.
The dilemma is, of course, providing myself with enough substance and it doesn’t seem these events and niblets add up to the big meal. More like an interesting buffet of glittery chunkage. Wanna bite?